What I was trying to say
by HGWeasley
Summary: My firstborn. R/H positive :)


What I Was Trying to Say  
HGWeasley  
  
None of the characters belong to me.   
My thanks to Ms. Rowling for their loan.  
Here goes my first real fic!  
  
  
Neville was snoring. Not that I would have been able to sleep if he'd been quiet. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I tossed and turned until I couldn't stand it anymore. I went downstairs to the common room and saw her there...talking to Krum.  
  
*********************  
  
I'd never been happier in all my life. "Oh, Viktor! Of course I will!"  
  
"Herm-own-ninny, you haff made me so happy. I vas vorried that you vould not feel the same."  
  
"I was worried too, but now everything is so perfect, well almost anyway." I blushed.   
  
"Yes, almost." He winked at me. "It will be so hard to vait to see you now."   
  
"But we will see each other soon. You're sure about the wedding in Bulgaria?"  
  
"Oh, yes, all the England guests will be able to get there just fine. Mom and Dad can go with Ginny on a portkey; everyone else should have their apparition licenses by that time. It will just be so beautiful. Your hometown is lovely. Well, I guess I'd better get some sleep. Goodnight, Viktor."  
  
"Goodnight, Herm-own-ninny."  
  
Viktor disappeared from the flames, and I sat back on the floor, pulling my knees to my chin and giving a blissful sigh. "I can't wait to tell Ron," I thought out loud.   
  
I heard a choking noise behind me and turned just in time to see a red-haired person vaulting through the portrait hole. "Ron!" I shouted after him.  
  
"Congratulations," I heard him spit out before the portrait slammed shut.  
  
*********************  
  
That had come out more bitter than I had intended. But honestly, "I can't wait to tell Ron?" Ugh. "Come on, then, 'Herm-own-ninny,'" I thought. "Come and tell me all about your precious Vicky. Tell me all about the wedding in Bulgaria (he won't even let their wedding be in her own country, in her own church!) that you're going to want me to go to because 'you're my best friend, Ron, along with Harry.'  
  
"Never mind that you've hardly written one another this year. Suddenly that's all fixed with a wedding. You barely know him. He barely knows you. He doesn't know the look you get in the moment between your figuring something out and rushing off to the library to do more research. He doesn't know that funny little twitch your mouth does when you walk in and see Harry and I are playing Exploding Snap when we have Potions essays due the next day. He can't appreciate how wonderful you are when he's off gallivanting around the world showing off on the Quidditch field doing moves you still can't pronounce even after three years of dating the world's best seeker."  
  
I took a mental breath after that very long string of thoughts. By this time I was very far from Griffindor Tower, stomping loudly, not caring if Filch caught me or not.   
  
"Ron, wait!" Ignore her.  
  
"Ron, you don't understand!"  
  
I turned down a tall, wide staircase and shouted back, "No, you don't understand 'Herm-own-ninny.' You couldn't understand." That shut her up.  
  
*********************  
  
He was already at the bottom of the stairs by the time I reached them. Of all the stupid, hurtful things he's done to me over the years, this one... How is it, Ron, that you can set my emotions from one extreme to another so easily?   
  
"Try me," I said angrily. He turned back around, his face furious and intense.  
  
  
I started back up the stairs. I was going to kiss her silly, I was going to kiss her until her head spun, and then she'd understand. Inside my head I was shouting, "I've been in love with you for the past four years. I've watched you and that stupid boor Krum and he could never love you the way that I do, and now I'm going to show you how I feel like I should have before Vicky was ever an issue.  
  
I stopped. I did love her. Probably more than Krum did, except that she was in love with him, not me. I couldn't do this to her. It was her happiness that was at stake here, not mine. Mine was long gone, even if it had mattered, which it didn't, not next to hers.  
  
And right now her happiness meant her best friend's blessing. (A/N #1)  
  
*********************  
  
Halfway up the staircase he stopped and looked down at his feet. After a moment of silence I was about to go down to him when he met my eyes and started upward again. His face was fully of gentle, bittersweet resignation; he was trying so hard and failing so miserably (literally: he looked miserable) to smile for me. At last he was standing on the step below looking down at me (has he always been this tall?)   
  
"Congratulations, Hermione." It didn't sound at all the way it had the first time. He took my hands in his, and as he continued his smile was full and genuine. "Nobody deserves to be happy more than you do. Viktor really is a terrific person, you certainly can't knock his taste in women, so please let me be the first to wish you both all the love and luck in the world. If you will have me there even after being such a jerk, I would love to come to Bulgaria for your wedding."   
  
I kissed him. He pulled back, looking very hurt and confused, and trying to cover it up.  
  
"Hermione, I know that was just a friendly kiss, but you shouldn't even be giving other guys even friendly kisses anymore. It isn't right. You are an engaged woman; you are promised to the man you love." His eyes were beginning to look wet.   
  
"No, I'm not." Are you blind, Ron?  
  
"What?  
  
"I'm not promised to the man I love."   
  
"He dumped you? I'll kill him! How dare he! But wait a minute... you were all giggly and talking about weddings. You looked so happy."  
  
"We were happy because we're not in love." This really seemed to stump him. "Did you hear all of that conversation?" I knew he hadn't, but waited for him to shake his head accordingly before saying, "We dumped each other, Ron, it's ok. We're both really happy about it.  
  
"But what about the wedding in Bulgaria?"  
  
Ron wasn't going to like this part at all. "Well, Ron... Viktor's getting married, but not to me, to another girl he met." I was right; Ron looked ready to explode so I hurried on, "It's really ok. Really. I haven't felt more than friendship for Viktor for a very long time; neither has he for me--that's why we're so happy. This way we can still really be good friends, see? And we are, and I'm going to his wedding in Bulgaria, and he wants you and Ginny and Harry to come, too."   
  
I grinned as I remembered what Viktor had told me about his new fiancé. "He's marrying one of the new Chasers. Her name is Maria. 'You vill love her. She's so very beautiful, friendly, intelligent, and Herm-own-ninny--she can execute the Marksniov something-or-other perfectly.'"   
  
"Markovnikov loop addition, (A/N #2)" Ron muttered absently. He was still steaming at the ears over the thought of Viktor cheating on me.   
  
Ok, Hermione. Get ready. This is it. This is where you tell him the whole truth.   
  
*********************  
  
HOW DARE THAT STUPID GIT CHEAT ON HER WITH SOME TWO-BIT SCARLET WOMAN CHASER FLUZY! I was about to tell Hermione so, but she had started biting on her lower lip like she does when she's nervous. (What was she doing that for? I was so confused.) She looked like she was steeling herself for something.   
  
"Ron, I love you."  
  
Whatever I was expecting wasn't that. My face lit up, then darkened again. She couldn't, no, that was too good to be real. How could she be in love with me? I wouldn't survive her telling me she loved me as a friend all the time. That had to stop.  
  
"Hermione, please don't say that. I can't take your saying the words." You don't mean them the way I do, I didn't say.  
  
She turned her head away and said, "You don't love me. Oh, well that's fine. It's ok, see you around."  
  
This was impossible. It was simply not possible. Ahh! I couldn't let her leave without finding out, but the words were getting all choked in my throat. I could feel us both on the edge of tears when I finally managed, "Hermione, wait! Were you trying to say you were IN love with me? Be-because I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember..."   
  
That stopped her. Well, now I'd done it. I'd said it. What I'd been wanted to say since I was thirteen. I definitely FELT thirteen again.  
  
Slowly she turned back around, so that I could see her smile the same smile I'd seen in the common room ten minutes ago when life seemed so unbearable.   
  
"Yes, Ron. That's what I was trying to say."  
  
  
The End :)  
  
  
A/N #1 This little snippet was the reason that this story was so delightful to write. I've heard some of the most exciting times for scientists are when their hypotheses are proven wrong. For me as an author I am absolutely thrilled when my characters do something I expressly tell them not to do or something that just surprises me. Ron ended up showing a great deal more maturity in this situation that I'd given him credit for. (I was prepared to write about his kissing Hermione.) Granted, nothing in the books suggests he's that mature at this point, but he's only 14; give him a break :)  
  
A/N #2 Ten points to the first reviewer who knows where I stole that from! (Hint--not fiction)  
  
I hope you enjoyed; please take a moment to review!  
  



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